What I’m asking for is your help. I’ve created these questions, about you, and I’d appreciate your answers!
Writing the blog is working in helping me to feel better about myself. However, when reading it, I realized that regardless of the value of what I’m writing, it’s only based on me, and by that, it’s entirely one-sided!
Yes, being disabled can be a challenge. While it started as something awful, so bad that I actually hated myself for a little while, but I don’t know what it was, but I changed my view. I was looking at the “old me”, and the fact that the “new me” wasn’t it, I felt a failure. The week before the crash, I did a triathlon. The month before, I biked to Kingston in The Rideau Lakes. I was a member of Soldiers of Fitness, a military-style boot camp for fitness, and because of it, I was able to. I completed 5 additional triathlons, and ran 4 or 5 half-marathons. I looked at what I became, comparing it to the former me, and hated it. Then, Never Stop was born.
I’ve slipped, more than once, in thinking bad things about myself, to the point where I downright hated myself. However, a friend said that when I get that way, that I’m effectively a hypocrite, by not practicing what I preach. But, the feelings of wanting (no, needing) succeed helped me to see the light. I didn’t know it at the time that I thought it, but in hindsight, that’s the power of my inside-drive. I still fight the inside-voice, often, that tells me that I’m either mostly useless, or something like that. It’s hard to fight, because it not only says it, but I feel it.
However, being visibly-disabled is definitely superior to invisible. A friend of mine, who suffered an injury, is able to qualify for a parking pass. He might forget where he’d parked his car, but he’d never use one alone, under any circumstances, because his injury is completely invisible. When I’m shopping, at any time, I’m offered help. If something is high up, and I’m looking at it, within a matter of seconds someone offers.